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STEPHANIE'S FOLDER
She's missing. She's a heartbreaker. She's not topical at
all. But she's got her own Buzzsaw folder. Who's your buddy?
Subject: We're here for you
Date: Thu, Nov 21, 1996 19:51 EST
From: Lundberg02
Where are you, what are you thinking, do you ever think of us, will you
ever come back?
Subject: Re:We're here for you
Date: Thu, Nov 21, 1996 20:41 EST
From: Ulah
Steph? As long as you're not using it right now (that is, IF you're
not), is it okay if I borrow your black leather jacket? It's cold
outside now and mine is just falling apart. And my other coat doesn't
look as good with the black Docs.
Okay, yeah. I've borrowed it already, I just wanted to make sure it's
cool case you come back soon, what with this folder and all. Someone's
bound to tell you you've got this attention being paid to you. We all
know how much you love attention.
Anyway, see ya later.
Ules
P.S. Oh yeah, before I forget--I also borrowed your Betsey Johnson
dress and the black ankle-strap heels. I figured you wouldn't mind.
Thanks, girlfriend!
Subject: Re:We're here for you
Date: Thu, Nov 21, 1996 21:47 EST
From: Cookiemonn
yup, i'm here , liked the clinton barb on whaleing, too bad there ar'nt
any whaling ships
in the area !
Subject: Re:We're here for you/cookie
Date: Thu, Nov 21, 1996 23:51 EST
From: Lundberg02
authentic western gibberish folder is down the hall second room on your
left
Subject: Crazy..Like Patsys' song
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 00:03 EST
From: MSKYBEL
Every time I turn to Buzzsaw I will sweat, giggle, get dizzy and forget
my name. There it is.
Stephanie's Folder, bigger than life and piercing my brain.
My Stephanie casts a spell over men, women, children, as well as cats
and small dogs. She is from the North but her spirit has roots in the
sunny courtyards of the Vieux Carre'.
Do you care? Of course not. I'll be back, though.
Thanks for listening.
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Ulah
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 10:14 EST
From: Debsweetie
Glad to hear that you are stealing Stephi's clothes while she isn't
around. I am sure if Lundy and the rest howl long enough they could
get you your own folder, too....
Oh, I forgot you had one didn't you?
Didn't realize you had green eyes Ules... really sets off that black
jacket
Have a lovely weekend...
Debsweetie
Subject: A Mystery
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 10:14 EST
From: CLYaillen
Has anyone thought to check out that guy upstairs with the blaring
stereo? What is he trying to cover up? Definitely involved with
Stephanie....
Subject: Re:A Mystery....Clyaillen
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 10:19 EST
From: Copterwife
Okay, not knowing a lot of things about a lot of things......I need to
ask.....WHO IS STEPHANIE??
Is she a CyberBimbo??
Is she a Figment of our imagination??
Is she from outer space??
:::::needing to know:::::
But not much.
Sandi
Subject: Re:Stephanie
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 12:18 EST
From: MCODEV
Dear Stephani --
Look, I'm sure you're a perfectly wonderful person and amusing in your
own way, but I must insist that you stay away from my husband. People
are starting to talk and I refuse to be a laughingstock. I know plenty
of very nice guys who would be glad to buy you caramel amaretto caffe
lattes and cranberry scones.
This is not a request. Scram or I'll sic my piranhas on you.
Subject: Found you
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 13:15 EST
From: JungnFree
Call me, same number. Don't believe it? "I guess the choreographer
showed up". Typical, having Mark say he had no idea where you'd moved
to.
Subject: Re:Found you
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 15:04 EST
From: Lundberg02
This not email, get out
Subject: Re:Steph Who???
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 15:32 EST
From: MartyL2435
I think I get it.
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Ulah/Deb
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 16:38 EST
From: Ulah
I wish I had some idea what you're talking about, Deb. If I could
fathom your frame of reference, I'd no doubt have a view from there,
scary as it might be. Yes, I had a folder, and it was fun. Now
Stephanie has one and I'm going to have fun there too. Maybe you could
get your own folder too. I think you deserve one as much as anyone
here does. And if you were to ask for one I would second that motion.
Talk to the man in charge if you'd like one. I'm behind you all the
way. A Debsweetie Folder in Buzzsaw is a great idea!
And I didn't steal Steph's clothes, I merely borrowed them. Really.
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Ulah/Deb
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 16:52 EST
From: Lundberg02
Another excellent idea to reduce the amount of time in Buzz
Subject: Where's Waldo?
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 18:09 EST
From: SethTwiggs
Tried to find Steph on the "keyword" but it says she's no such thing.
Still mourning.
Subject: Re:Where's Waldo?
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 18:57 EST
From: CLYaillen
I am sure that Waldo is NOT with Steph....LW would be beside
himself--and one LW is enuf!!! At least until we cure him. Or maybe we
should pickle him--get a matching jar.
Still underground/still looking
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Ulah/D
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 20:07 EST
From: Debsweetie
I for one am glad to here that you are merely borrowing them....
Bon Weekend!
Debsweetie
And Please no Debsweetie folder, too many things to do to keep up with
it
Subject: folders for all
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 20:46 EST
From: Copterwife
HEY!!! Since AOL is going to be basically a free for all, we should
ALL just have our own folders in here.....and let Hetzer decide what
we're going to say in them since he knows us all pretty well. THANKS
for the idea!!!!!!!!!
Subject: Re:We're here for you
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 22:25 EST
From: Katzap58
i don't understand how this buzz thing works and why do I have a
stephanie file here anyways? Please clear thing up for me. Thanks,
Katzap58
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Katzap
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 1996 22:31 EST
From: CLYaillen
Noxema clears things up; our raison d'etre is to obfuscate. We are all
practicing to pass the bar and run for congress. Unless we stay at the
bar.
Subject: Re:We're here for you/Katzap
Date: Sat, Nov 23, 1996 01:38 EST
From: Ulah
Dear Katzap,
No.
Your friend,
Ulah
Subject: Re:folders for all
Date: Sat, Nov 23, 1996 16:19 EST
From: Hetzer
<<
HEY!!! Since AOL is going to be basically a free for all, we should
ALL just have our own folders in here.....and let Hetzer decide what
we're going to say in them since he knows us all pretty well. THANKS
for the idea!!!!!!!!!
>>
Works for me.
Regards,
Heil Hetzer!!!
Subject: Re: Steph's Car
Date: Sat, Nov 23, 1996 22:43 EST
From: Ulah
Hey, you guys? Did you find Steph's car? I think it was in the lot by
the Pizza Hut. I don't think it's there any more and my tapes are
still in it.
Who has it, or has it been impounded? Or did SHE take it? Is she
coming back? Lundy? Hello?
Subject: Re:MCODEV
Date: Sat, Nov 23, 1996 22:43 EST
From: MSKYBEL
You are so right.
Steph knows it's not the right thing to do but makes everyone else feel
guilty, angry, etc. She just orders another drink and smiles.
If any woman hears that name from her man prepare yourself for some
psychotic behavoir.
You have been warned.
Subject: Steph's wheels
Date: Sun, Nov 24, 1996 04:38 EST
From: Lundberg02
She is known to be driving a Missouri plate Pinto wagon with
Spaghetti-Os(TM) spilled all over the front seats. Your tapes are
history, especially They Might Be Giants and The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective Dealers
Subject: Reading Material
Date: Sun, Nov 24, 1996 16:40 EST
From: SethTwiggs
A recent sighting had her sweeping out the Spaghetti-O's and reading a
volume of "The Best Herb Stories" by Ava Gardner. Sorry I can't be
more helpful about tapes and clothing.
Subject: Re: Recent Sighting
Date: Sun, Nov 24, 1996 19:34 EST
From: HO1156
Heard she was fitting the Pinto up to be hauled by eight tiny reindeer,
and was currently hanging out with some fat guy named Claus. Rumor has
it she's heavy into peppermint, too, these days. Let me know if you
hear anything, huh?
Subject: Buzzsaw
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 10:24 EST
From: Agaurdas
You are unfair and unfunny. Hope you quit before you're fired. You
treatment of Pierre Salinger is typical. Stop disgracing yourself and
Americ Online. You are disgusting
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw Pierre the Great
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 12:30 EST
From: CeZues
I tried to form a New Topic, but a nasty sign came up and said: "ou
are not entitled to create a New Topic" At first i was insulted for I
too would like a new topic, Like ASK DOCTOR KNOW a all Holistic
approuch to medical Problems,with an FAQ! and Email at
Drknw@n-jcenter .com
or Http://www2.gdi.net/~drkno. Any one may participate........BUT THEN
i SAW YOUR TREATMENT OF SALINGER; and personaly i have never heard of
you and have bno Idea how an assshole as you got to create and post
this illminded Salinger rip. ...As you don't care who you attach as
long as you get your name noticed, Jerk-off.
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw Pierre the Great
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 13:00 EST
From: Lundberg02
Yeah Buzzsaw your mama so fat.........
No, seriously folks, I'm just here for a minute in in Stephanie's
folder to tell you that 3.0 for the MAc has the same problem as Stef.
It's gorgeous but it refuses to work
Subject: English?!?!?!
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 17:12 EST
From: MCODEV
<< and personaly i have never heard of you and have bno Idea how an
assshole as you got to create and post this illminded Salinger rip.
...As you don't care who you attach as long as you get your name
noticed, Jerk-off. >>
I have read several posts from people slamming "uptight" folks who have
a slight problem with so-called "literate" people who own computers yet
don't seem to know the basics of our written language. I, who have
refrained from pooh-pooing posters for minor spelling errors, hold up
this example of a post that has dismally failed its purpose -- that is,
to communicate a point, thought or opinion.
Steph! Where did you hide that bazooka, dagnabbit?
Subject: Re:English?!?!?!
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 17:20 EST
From: LWHoll
Hey, Steph told me the bazooka was 'our toy'.
Subject: Anal Preventive
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 17:25 EST
From: SethTwiggs
Thank the lord, I thought all the up-tight people had died with the
election. Ol CeZeus (or as s/he prefers to misspell it CeZues) and
Aguardas
(sorrysorrysorry. I can't help myself) surely need to take another
drink, as Jack Nicholson said, to kill them bugs they got up their
asses. But they sure do entertain with their rantin' and ravin' and
nonsense sentences and misspellin's and good old humorous posts like
that. Must have missed the welcome board and thought they were
required to be in here. Came in the side, I'll betcha.
Subject: Re:Anal Preventive-Seth
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 17:38 EST
From: Copterwife
Nope....I think it was the backdoor.
Subject: Re:Anal Preventive-Seth
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 17:48 EST
From: Lundberg02
As long we're going to dwell on the subject, I'd like to add what I
just eemed LWHoll. Do people cruise around the net or AOL looking for a
place to take a dump as though they were Albert Belle beside an
interstate in his new hometown of Chicago, trying to make an impression
on the residents? I realize that paranoia and bad spelling are a
cottage industry with a great future now that spray cans are locked up,
and I know that a few people who came in here foaming at the mouth and
at least one other orifice, have turned out to be sick humorists of
the month, but can't the BUzzman tell them in some fascist,
threatening way that they took a wrong turn if they were going to
Skokie?
Subject: Re:Anal Preventive
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 18:49 EST
From: CLYaillen
So much for outcome based education....and remedial whatever in college
for those who got there and didn't belong in the first place...as for
coming in side/back door....probably crawled out from under a rock and
dug through the foundation! Be that as it may, if they took a wrong
turn, as 02 surmises, lucky Skokians!!! We can take care of 'em here!!!
And...maybe Buzz should change advice of funny=good to humorous=good...
too many people seem to think funny=weird....
Subject: Funny/Weird
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 22:10 EST
From: Ulah
Funny does = weird. Funny = strange too.
Subject: At your own risk
Date: Mon, Nov 25, 1996 23:57 EST
From: MSKYBEL
0038518100399dde-at-34d8cd71
This is one folder you best be steppin' lightly when changin' the
subject.
Subject: Re:At your own risk
Date: Tue, Nov 26, 1996 00:01 EST
From: Lundberg02
Stephanie was seen dating Keanu Reeves' career.
Subject: Re:English?!?!?!
Date: Tue, Nov 26, 1996 15:39 EST
From: Win511
Hey MCDOV!
GO BABY!
Subject: toomuch
Date: Tue, Nov 26, 1996 19:55 EST
From: SethTwiggs
Hey Hey hey. We'll have none of that familiarity in here!
Besides, Stephanie spelled backwards is Einahpets, which was my uncle's
maiden name. Whoever knocks an Einahpets knocks me.
Subject: You go back
Date: Tue, Nov 26, 1996 20:08 EST
From: Lundberg02
far enough there's an Einahpets in everyone's family. Ulah is a fourth
generation Einahpets.
Subject: Re:You go back
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 00:36 EST
From: Ulah
True enough. My great, great, great grandmother was Stephanie
Einahpets. I was named after her in the spirit of the family
palindrome:
Ulah Stephanie Einapets Halu. And they would have put a number on the
end of my name, but they were afraid of multiplicity, like what
happened with MMann.
Subject: Re:You go back/And Seth?
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 00:37 EST
From: Ulah
I guess that means we're KIN!
Subject: Re:You go back/MMann
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 06:40 EST
From: Debsweetie
Don't they put numbers after names in prisons?
Deb
Subject: A question
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 10:53 EST
From: MCODEV
Does Einahpets = epithets?
If so, how does this affect my Chia Pet?
Subject: Re:A question
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 15:14 EST
From: Lundberg02
You won't be able to sit on it any more after interpretive dance.
Subject: Happy Happy
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 21:51 EST
From: MSKYBEL
First I mention your name in some other folder along with some other
poor soul. Soon after, this folder shows up to haunt me. A couple
days later you call me out of the blue after six months, lunch, talk,
chew me up and spit me out like a cherry pit, gone.
Happy Thanksgiving Stephanie
Subject: Re:You go back
Date: Wed, Nov 27, 1996 22:18 EST
From: CLYaillen
My great grandmother on my father's side was Annie Anapest--another
branch of the family. One of her feet was shorter than the other, but
in spite of this physical defect, she was a great poet. When she came
to this country, the immigration officer at Ellis Island could not
understand hername. So, being Italian, he improvised and changed it to
Auntie Pasto, and she remained that, legally, to the day she died. She
opened up a chain of restaurants, and will be remembered for creating a
dreary little green sauce, which she bottled and distributed as Pasto
Pesto. She ultimately died a millionaire from her marketing tie-ins
with a pot manufacturer and the royalties from the Presto Pasto Pesto.
Do you want to hear about my Uncle, Mort Adella?
Subject: Re:Happy Happy
Date: Thu, Nov 28, 1996 00:04 EST
From: Lundberg02
Of course YOU are not obsessive, no way.
Subject: Re:You go back
Date: Thu, Nov 28, 1996 00:06 EST
From: Lundberg02
I would like to hear about Mort and his cousin "Moustache" Eoli.
Subject: Re:Happy Happy
Date: Thu, Nov 28, 1996 00:07 EST
From: MSKYBEL
Has Steph been talking to you?
Subject: Re:Happy Happy
Date: Thu, Nov 28, 1996 17:28 EST
From: Lundberg02
She's at LWHoll's place. I went over there, the door was open, there's
her junk all over the place, bunch of empties, no note.
Subject: Re:Happy Happy
Date: Thu, Nov 28, 1996 22:13 EST
From: MSKYBEL
Like Lucco Brazi, LW sleeps with the fishes.
Subject: Re:English?!?!?!
Date: Sat, Nov 30, 1996 11:03 EST
From: Matsuda28
Eh... MCODEV, you misspelled 'no'
Subject: Re:You go back...CL
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 08:14 EST
From: Copterwife
Would you please tell us the great story about your great-great uncle
who lived in Boston during the beginning of the Revolutionary war? The
one who had the chicken that tripped the red-coat? The one who
discovered the first chicken catch-a-Tory?
Subject: Re:You go back...CL
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 11:58 EST
From: Akhilles
I can top that. I heard that shortly after our Revolution, Napoleon
came up with his own recipe, Chicken Napoleon. It's very simple. You
only use the Bony Parts!
It tastes like chicken.
Subject: Re:You go back...CL/CopterWife
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 14:32 EST
From: CLYaillen
I think you'd rather hear about my GrandMa's cousins, Motl and Mendl,
two brothers who settled in Indiana when they came to the "Goldeneh
Medina" (The Golden Land), to escape the Czars and seek their fortunes.
Like so many of their kind, they eked out a living as tinkers, tailors,
peddlers. Being very orthodox, they never worked on the Sabbath, and
always walked to their little "shul" (small synagog), since riding is
proscribed on the Sabbath, and spent all day in prayer.
One day, Motl told his brother, "You know, Mendl, so many people have
so far to walk on the Sabbath. If only they could ride the day before,
and have aplace nearby the shul to stay. It's so hard on older people."
So they worked harder, saved every penny they could, added on to their
house, and established a small B&B, that they called the Holy Day Inn.
The idea was successful and the brothers prospered. They added on more
rooms, and put out one of those newfangled neon light signs, Holy Day
Inn by Motl and Mendl.
One day, a businessman travelling by, noticed the sign--how could you
miss? It was immense with so many words--so garish in rural Indiana.
So he gave the brothers some advice. First, change your names so that
they sound more American, and shorten the name of your establishment.
Which they did....and thus was born the global chain from which the
family subsequently prospered: Holiday Inn Motel and Hotel. And we are
all eternally grateful to GrandMa's cousins, Motl and Hotl.
Subject: Open thing-a-ma-bob.
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 18:29 EST
From: LWHoll
Dearest Stephi: come back. I have regained feeling in my right leg.
Low, shrill timbred angels.
Sing the list of my tranquility
wrapped in this slumbering embrace.
When my waking and your not
stills the prudent clock
and tomorrow is but a frothing wash of noise and color high overhead,
then I see you as you left Heaven child I have never known you better
nor
held you more dear
than when you dream and your heart beats nearest mine.
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob.
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 19:36 EST
From: Lundberg02
authentic eastern gibberish?
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob.
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 20:43 EST
From: MSKYBEL
Are you trying to get her back or keep her away?
Appointments available 2-5p.m. EST Tues.
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob.
Date: Sun, Dec 1, 1996 21:24 EST
From: CLYaillen
Is that part of the presentation you're making to the CEO and the
board, come Tuesday? About 36 hours from now? Or are you mooning about
so much you're gonna be in deep do-do? Get a hold of yourself, son! On
2nd thought, that's a poor choice of words. Proceed with what you're
doing. Over and out.
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob/CYL
Date: Mon, Dec 2, 1996 09:14 EST
From: LWHoll
Mom, you do know your boy. I might be motivated, but I am not
directed. T-24, and I have the cold sweats.
But I LOVE those sweats, man. I came to work dressed like the Brooks
Brothers poster boy and playing Black Sabbath so loud my ears were
ringing. It's like I'm back in school.
I think the only thing left to do is apply for a fact checkers job at
the New Yorker. Can Tina Brown be any more annoying than the CEO of this
place? Do you think the CIA will deliver to Madison Ave.?
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob/CY
Date: Mon, Dec 2, 1996 11:32 EST
From: CLYaillen
Focus, Boy, Focus!!!! Do not let her know that you are in any way
intimidated! Are your shoes shined? Your suit pressed? Men's ties are
an arcane mystery to me--but make sure you wear one that shouts success,
self-assurance, and superiority!!! No booze with odor....a small nip of
Stoli, if you must... and wipe those doughnut crumbs off your chin....
They always say (whoever 'they' are...) that it helps to look at your
adversary and imagine him/her naked... Give it your best shot, Son!!!
Love - Mom
Subject: Re:We're here for you/cookie
Date: Mon, Dec 2, 1996 15:18 EST
From: JaRMckay
Ahhh.. imm sorry.. i thought that was the room for arguments.....
Subject: Re:Open thing-a-ma-bob/L02
Date: Mon, Dec 2, 1996 20:54 EST
From: LWHoll
I have always found poetry to be the horn o' plenty.
Subject: Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Mon, Dec 2, 1996 23:34 EST
From: Ulah
THE BUZZSAWN directed by Bill Shein.
Starring MMann and a lovable cast of quirky, wacky characters!
Laugh with the zany residents of a little town called Buzzsaw (named
After its deity "Buzzsaw) as they trip lightly over simple spelling,
grammar, And online gaffes galore!
Sit back and enjoy as the Crazed Loner deftly parries verbally with
Newbies and Sawn alike!
You'll guffaw at the hilarity of Zelda, Gatekeeper to Pundemonium!
You'll roll in the aisles at the antics of the resident Bleeding
Hearts, Cold Calculators, and Savvy Savants as they skewer each
other and welcome newcomers into the Flock.
Hold your breath while you watch the local militia sic their dogs and
Their guns and their Jehovah's Witness relatives on unsuspecting but
Expendable visitors!
Thrill to the Best of Boards! Look for the resident deity to respond
to his followers! And try not to cover your eyes in sheer terror as
the star Mmann warns you and shows you the Signs of impending doom and
Extraterrestrial occupation!
And in the exciting climax, you'll see the real MONSTER! We won't give
It away, but it's one of the scariest things you'll EVER see on a screen,
big OR small! LW and MSKYBEL will run screaming from the frame!
Don't MISS IT!
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 00:05 EST
From: Lundberg02
so you finally mention me, in the LAST paragraph
Subject: Re:Open thing-a- bob/L02:LW
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 00:35 EST
From: CLYaillen
There's a pun in there....but I ain't touching it....not ME!!!
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 01:19 EST
From: CLYaillen
HOT OFF THE PRESS!
Watch for the thrilling sequels, by popular demand, of Sawn-of-Buzzsaw
II, Buzzsaw Between 2 Sheets, Buzzsaw 3.0-for-1 $19.95, and Buzzsaw 4
Sheets to the Windbags. Brought to you by Pepto Productions, coming soon to a
Desktop near you.
A thrill a minute--will make Jurassic Park look like Disney cum
NutraSweet.
Starring Piltdown MMann, Mae Oui, Ulah Boolah, L.W.W.W.Howl, S. Twiggy,
Dirk Starr, Di Vergeo, A. Killeys, Mac Eau De Ville, Miss Kibble, a
Nightmarish jarring MONSTER finale, plus a Plastered Cast of Thousands.
Costumes by Cuckoo Channel. Original soundtrack by the rave new Belgian
group, The Dueling Phlegmish Catarrhs. Misdirected by Buzz, High Poo-Bah
and Lord of the Sawn.
Popcorn and gummy bears extra.
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 02:18 EST
From: Lundberg02
How soon they forget. And I, in my little jar, was the STAR of the A.
Whitney Brown tape segment on tonight's Daily Show. Right there in the
Center of the screen. They knew it was me because they said that if this
were the brain of a talk show host there would be extensive atrophy of the
Frontal lobes, as they are not used on television.
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 11:37 EST
From: LWHoll
Jeez,what about me. I didn't even make the closing credits. The had
some kid standing on the sidewalk handing out fliers with my name on
it.
It's a tough crowd, but it's a fair crowd. Hey, anybody here from out
Of town? Folks, remember to be good to your waitress and try the lamb,
it's delicious.
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet/02
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 11:46 EST
From: CLYaillen
All your own fault. Can't twist your name into a pun at all. Only your
brain...
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet/LW
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 11:46 EST
From: CLYaillen
Quityerbitchin. Ya made the sequel.
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 12:58 EST
From: Lundberg02
She got to us again,Larry. The kid's good, she' very good. And your
spelling! Near perfect! You do respect me in the morning! And you'll
call me in the city?
Subject: Re:Buzzsaw One Sheet/02
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 13:58 EST
From: CLYaillen
Call you in the city? Your orbiting brain gets a jarring ring?
Subject: Re:Stephanie
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 14:30 EST
From: NBNBN
Stephanie:
I was browsing through BUZZSAW, my first ever I-net visit and I saw
that you had 76 messages, and the one I picked was from some wierd
lady afraid of you entrapping her husband. Enough to get my attention.
So who are you?
Subject: Re:Stephanie/NBNBN
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 15:44 EST
From: Copterwife
In the misty fog between awake and asleep, you see her.
She's there. Reaching out to you. Calling your name.
Awake, you can't find her.
Asleep, she escapes.
Alas. Alas.
Subject: Buzzsaw One Sheet
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 21:05 EST
From: Lundberg02
Actually Crazed Loaner is the rental car company the Teamsters used.
Meet me at craft services for some lox and bagels.
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair and
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 22:16 EST
From: MIZLEE
You are unfair and unfunny. Hope you quit before you're fired. You
treatment of Pierre Salinger is typical. Stop disgracing yourself and
Americ Online. You are disgusting
AND YOU ARE NOT AMUSING
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair and
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 23:26 EST
From: CLYaillen
The AOL voters have said otherwise. Buzz wins. Dole loses. You lose.
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair and
Date: Tue, Dec 3, 1996 23:35 EST
From: Lundberg02
we get it and we're of average intelligence. you must be in the part
that makes it average
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair and
Date: Wed, Dec 4, 1996 15:32 EST
From: Ulah
I think Mizlee was quoting and commenting.
Miz, honey, use the << >> method. Then we know to whom to attribute
the drivel.
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair and
Date: Wed, Dec 4, 1996 17:56 EST
From: CLYaillen
If Mizlee was quoting somebody else, my most profound apology. But
where from, I ask? Not the Aolian one?
Subject: Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Wed, Dec 4, 1996 21:19 EST
From: JeBa105
Um, would anyone care to clue me in on who Stephanie is?
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Wed, Dec 4, 1996 22:04 EST
From: Lundberg02
She's a face in the misty night.
Eat one, two, many Dove bar.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Thu, Dec 5, 1996 19:54 EST
From: Akhilles
Whereas Lund is a brain in a dusty jar.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph/Akhilles
Date: Thu, Dec 5, 1996 22:37 EST
From: Rcansan
Watch it! Lundy's jar is not dusty!
I polish it each and every day!
-Ms. K
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Thu, Dec 5, 1996 23:20 EST
From: MSKYBEL
She is attractive, daring, intelligent, needy, petite, comforting, and
forgiving.
She will take your money, use your car, turn her back on you, threaten,
cry, demand, and manipulate you until you have no will of your own.
And you will always come back for more. Now you know why she has her
own folder. Would you like to meet her? Be part of her life? Who
wouldn't?
Subject: Re:You go back/MMann
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 19:59 EST
From: Twostepps
No its numbers instead of names.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 20:03 EST
From: Twostepps
Been there done that but there names where Debbie in NYC, Jeanna in
Nashville, and Lynnette in Tulsa.
So in a nutshell thanks but no thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***********************************************************************
Subj: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: 96-12-05 23:20:00 EST
From: MSKYBEL
She is attractive, daring, intelligent, needy, petite, comforting, and
forgiving.
She will take your money, use your car, turn her back on you, threaten,
cry, demand, and manipulate you until you have no will of your own.
And you will always come back for more. Now you know why she has her
own folder. Would you like to meet her? Be part of her life? Who
wouldn't?
Subject: Stephanie in your dreams
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 20:08 EST
From: Twostepps
I think I know who your talking about. Had that dream again.
***********************************************************************
Subj: Re:Stephanie/NBNBN
Date: 96-12-03 15:44:23 EST
From: Copterwife
In the misty fog between awake and asleep, you see her.
She's there. Reaching out to you. Calling your name.
Awake, you can't find her.
Asleep, she escapes.
Alas. Alas.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph/Akhilles/Rcan
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 22:34 EST
From: Lundberg02
And you should see what she dusts it with. B---h knows I can't get out.
They have power over us, we are putty in their hands. Well, maybe clay,
Which does get hard after quite a while.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 22:35 EST
From: Lundberg02
Damn if you haven't finally gotten with the program Msky. Keep up the
fair work.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph???/Twostepps
Date: Fri, Dec 6, 1996 22:41 EST
From: Lundberg02
If you can't make yourself understood, how can we help you to a better
life?
Perhaps sign language would be your metier.
No. I have it. Smoke signals from a pile of burning AOL disks, that's
The ticket!
Subject: Permanent record.
Date: Tue, Dec 10, 1996 18:28 EST
From: LWHoll
Who says having Stephani tattooed on your round thingy will ensure it's
permanence?
That's it! One year of avoiding my obsessive phone calls and I take
you OFF autodial.
You have 6 1/2 months to go.
Stephi, crying in the wilderness and would not be consoled, because her
good thingy was not. (Something tells me that somewhere, somehow, I'm
going to have to pay for that.)
Subject: Farewell, my leavely.
Date: Wed, Dec 11, 1996 14:04 EST
From: LWHoll
We must go to the sea
she said to me.
To the shore where prudent nature
casts herself about,
there a merry woman..
GOD DAMMIT, SHUT THE DOOR! <<<oh great now look>>>
Subject: huh Who's Steph???/Twostepps
Date: Wed, Dec 11, 1996 19:39 EST
From: Twostepps
Define better please
Subj: Re:Who's Steph???/Twostepps
Date: 96-12-06 22:41:41 EST
From: Lundberg02
If you can't make yourself understood, how can we help you to a better
life?
Perhaps sign language would be your metier.
No. I have it. Smoke signals from a pile of burning AOL disks, that's
The ticket!
***********************************************************************
****************************************
Subj: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: 96-12-06 20:03:45 EST
From: Twostepps
Been there done that but there names where Debbie in NYC, Jeanna in
Nashville, and Lynnette in Tulsa.
So in a nutshell thanks but no thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***********************************************************************
*****************************************
Subj: Re:Who's Steph????!!!
Date: 96-12-05 23:20:00 EST
From: MSKYBEL
She is attractive, daring, intelligent, needy, petite, comforting, and
forgiving.
She will take your money, use your car, turn her back on you, threaten,
cry, demand, and manipulate you until you have no will of your own.
And you will always come back for more. Now you know why she has her
own folder. Would you like to meet her? Be part of her life? Who
wouldn't?
Subject: Re:huh Who's Steph???/Twostepp
Date: Thu, Dec 12, 1996 00:54 EST
From: Lundberg02
Perhaps somewhere without unlimited hours?
Subject: Re:huh Who's Steph???/Twostepp
Date: Thu, Dec 12, 1996 12:08 EST
From: Ulah
"Define better please"
bet*tor or bet*ter (noun)
First appeared 1609
: one that bets
better [4] (noun)
First appeared 12th Century
1 a : something better
b : a superior esp. in merit or rank
2 : ADVANTAGE, VICTORY <get the ~ of him>
better [3] (adverb, comparative of WELL)
First appeared 12th Century
1 a : in a more excellent manner
b : to greater advantage : PREFERABLY <some things are ~ left
unsaid>
2 a : to a higher or greater degree <he knows the story ~ than you do>
b : MORE <it is ~ than nine miles to the next town>
better [2]
verb transitive
First appeared before 12th Century
1 : to make better: as
a : to make more tolerable or acceptable <trying to ~ the lot of
slum
dwellers>
b : to make more complete or perfect <looked forward to ~ing her
acquaintance with the new neighbors>
2 : to surpass in excellence : EXCEL
verb intransitive
: to become better
synonym see IMPROVE
bet*ter [1] (adjective, comparative of GOOD)
[Middle English bettre, from Old English betera; akin to Old English
bot
remedy, Sanskrit bhadra fortunate]
First appeared before 12th Century
1 : greater than half
2 : improved in health or mental attitude
3 : more attractive, favorable, or commendable
4 : more advantageous or effective
5 : improved in accuracy or performance
I hope that helps. Have a swell day.
Subject: Re:Who's Steph????!!!/JeBa
Date: Thu, Dec 12, 1996 15:29 EST
From: LWHoll
Code name: Stepiphany. You are now on a 'need to know' basis.
Subject: Re:huh ???/Twostepp/ulah
Date: Thu, Dec 12, 1996 15:36 EST
From: RUSSTUR
Thanks Ules, mine is better already.
Batbud
Subject: Re:BuzzsawYou are unfair/Ula
Date: Thu, Dec 12, 1996 15:43 EST
From: MIZLEE
<<<I think Mizlee was quoting and commenting.
Miz, honey, use the << >> method. Then we know to whom to attribute
the drivel.>>>
Thank you, Ulah. It's nice knowing you realize that I don't do drivel.
But there's always the possibility of recidivism. OK, Char, twist that!
Subject: Caring and sharing
Date: Wed, Dec 18, 1996 11:52 EST
From: LWHoll
I hope that everybody out there is practicing safe sex. Next to
traveling together, it's the surest way to tell if two people will be
able to stand each other.
Subject: Red, Hot and Blue Christmas
Date: Mon, Dec 23, 1996 16:16 EST
From: LWHoll
Oh Steph honey, of all the blonds I've known you were my favorite.
I left your turtle in the refrigerator, but I guess you must know that
By now. And I took the hot orange tennis ball off of your car antenna at
the mall and I am real sorry that I stole your car and parked it therel in
the first place. Especially since you don't even know Cleveland.
And I've been sneaking into your apartment for the past year and
rearranging all of your furniture. Sorry if I woke you up.
But most of all I'm sorry about that hair remover thing. Well
darlin', we will always have Boise. Yer Boy.
Subject: Re:Red, Hot and Blue Christm
Date: Mon, Dec 23, 1996 18:31 EST
From: LWHoll
And honey, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, open that package I mailed to you.
Subject: Me Bite
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 00:55 EST
From: Ulah
Did anyone read Me Bite's profile? I recommend it.
Subject: Re:Me Bite/Ulah
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 06:33 EST
From: Copterwife
>>>"Screen Name: ME BITE
Member Name: DaveTV
Location: I know where Stephanie is......
Occupation: Running 2x6 thru the old buzzsaw
Personal Quote: Bite Me!"<<<
Scared of this one!!!
Subject: Re:Me Bite
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 11:47 EST
From: Rcansan
Who is this guy and how does he know where Stephanie is?
-Ms. K (Me Scared)
Subject: Larry
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 15:30 EST
From: Lundberg02
You were with her in the woods, weren't you? No wonder you act so out
of it. Get back in your crack infested neighborhood, tell Barry to get
lost, write those urban legends, tell yo mama what that bitch Stef is
trying to do now.
Subject: Re: These Buzzsaw postings
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 19:08 EST
From: Factoid2
I've figured it out: you guys all work for some super-hidden arm (or
leg) of the CIA and these are your coded messages to each other.
I've got my other computer (an Endymion 9000 with a super decoder ring)
working on figuring out the true meanings of it all. I shall return.
You shall be outed! If you let me live...... and remember: one is
not paranoid if "they" are really after one.
Subject: Re:Me Bite
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 19:13 EST
From: MEBITE
My Lady Ulah,
You honor me with your faint praise...
Praise The Almighty Sawn!
Fondest Regards,
Earl of the Bite
Subject: Re:Mrs.K
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 19:20 EST
From: MEBITE
Mrs.K,
My fair Lady Stephanie forceth me on threat of torture so vile, never
to revealth her present chambers, or I am to suffer the death of a
thousand discs, alas, alac, etc.
The Sawn Shall Live Forever! Hail the Mighty Sawn!
Earl of the Bite
Subject: Re:Larry/Lundy
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 19:27 EST
From: MEBITE
Wanna buy a used Crack Mayor? How about some nice freshly sawn 2x6?
William Shatner's web site address? The Earl has these things and
more....
Earl of the Bite
Subject: Re:Larry
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 20:15 EST
From: LWHoll
That guy is not me. And it is weird that someone would create a screen
profile over a girl he doesn't know.
Ah course, it's easy to know where Steph is, just listen for the "For
god's sake, Larry, it's just a drawer!," or my favorite, "Do you have to
drive like that?".
Subject: Re:Me Bite/now I know
Date: Sun, Dec 29, 1996 20:16 EST
From: LWHoll
Now I know who ME BITE is.
Subject: Re:LWHoll/Now I Know..
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 07:25 EST
From: MEBITE
Outstanding! There is a true Seeker amongst the Sawn! You have
discovered the first name! Ah, but there are levels upon levels in this
game.....I pray thou will continue in your search, My Lord, and that
thou prove to be a cunning and worthy foe. Perhaps a clue, a riddle,
wrapped in an enigma (or a amx pacer, if you prefer) - What was once
is no more, what is no more will be once again! Perhaps the new year
will offer thee solace.......Methinks a wager might intrigue thee,
perhaps Twenty Purple Discs if thou can discover the second level
within the fortnight?
Ah, the chase upon the fields of sporting combat....To Arms! To
Arms!
Avast ye scurly Wads! Unleash The Weasels Of War!(tm)
So elated am I at the prospect of a good Crusade, I will give up my
title as Earl of Bite, and all the lands and riches entitled me at birth,
and henceforth I will be known by my adopted Calling -
LORD BITE!(tm)
Till we meet on the fields of valor, my Lords and Ladies....
I Salute The Sawn!
Lord Bite
Master of Weasels
Subject: Lord Bite
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 08:12 EST
From: RUSSTUR
My dear Lord Bite,
We are encouraged by your grand Newbieness, and would just take pause
to lend gentle reminder.
You have crossed through our territories,entered the Land of Sawn, and
not paid tithing to Our Holy Batness(tm) at Batminster Abbey.
We need not assemble arms over such trivialities, if thy simply render
unto us our God given due. With interest, of course.
Yours,
His Holy Batness
Subject: Re:Your Holy Batness...
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 08:31 EST
From: MEBITE
Nay, it is not so! Why just yesterday I dispatched the required 500
Purple Discs off to the BatCave in the care of my most prized Weasel.
Pray, do not eat him (they're all gristle, you know), but send him back
to me, with a receipt (signed in triplicate, please), so that we may
seize the day!
Enrich The Sawn! (Even if the price is a little steep...)
Lord Bite
Master of the Weasels
Subject: Dear Bite Guy...
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 09:25 EST
From: Copterwife
Oh Newbie of Newbies.....Dear BITE ME.....your name suggests that you
are into pain. Whatever. It's your thing, do what you wanna do.
However when using the King's English aka Shakesperean please learn the
thee's and thou's of it.
Thee-I dost love thee.
Thou-Dost thou love me?
Thine-Givest me thine heart.
Thy-Give me thy money.
Or in a sentence if thou dost prefer.
As thou wast walking through the glade in yonder forest, thou came upon
a dragon. He was scared of thee. Thou wet thy pants. He dried them for
thee. Now thou dost wear hot pants on thine ass.
Subject: The Dragon on the Wall.
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 09:30 EST
From: Copterwife
I think that we could touch the stars
I think that we could find
A lot of common ground in this
The meeting of our minds.
Orbiting around the earth
In our mindless rocket ship
The things we touch, we see, we feel
On our inner outer trip.
Been there, done that, seen it all
As we watch the world go by
Snickering beneath our breath
As we race across the sky.
The dragon on the wall let out
A mighty, bellowing roar
He screamed so loud, my head flew off
And gently touched the floor.
My mind left you, came back to me
The sadness of it all
For alone it is, and alone it stays -
The dragon on the wall.
I'll meet you again someday up there
We'll zoom the inner space
Our minds, again, will meet, again
In inner outer space.
***happy posting***
Subject: Re:Your Holy ./lord bite
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 11:04 EST
From: RUSSTUR
My Dear Lord Bite,
I fear that I must send you sad news. Mine Assistant, the ever
blundering Boy Wunder(tm) hath informed me that we did indeed have
weasel for sup last eve.
However, we did not consume the carcass of the scant beastie, we merely
relieved him of his corpurial tasties. Therefore, I will dispatch his
dried remains to you immediately for rehydration and solstice rituals.
He did not however, bear any of the tithings as you so claim. I have
this on the highest authority, and I trust that you will dispatch a more,
shall we say, trustworthy rodent with payment.
By the by, were you at all aware of the Weasel's All Nite Inn, Gambling
Casino, and Brothel located next door to the Abbey?
It's the one with the large neon sign that says, ''AOL Disk Thingys
Welcome Here''.
Patiently Yours,
His Holy Batness, Batavian IV
Subject: Re: These Buzzsaw postings
Date: Mon, Dec 30, 1996 12:03 EST
From: JWismar
Factoid2: >>I've got my other computer (an Endymion 9000 with a super
decoder ring) working on figuring out the true meanings of it all.<<
You will need the new Cray 97 super-laptop computer. Developed by Cray
labs after the discovery of a new fundamental particle, a small round
thingie called a Crayon, which is as difficult to split as a fruitcake.
(It is believed to be related in nature to the goron and moron which
were once in Al Gore's head, if you will recall.)
The Cray 97 is a very portable and fast machine. It functions when
conneted to its power supply, which is stored on a convenient semi-trailer. It
is so fast that it can determine for you the secret BuzzSaw code before you
actually program it. The only software which appears to be too large
and complicated for it to run is the new AOL 3.0 for Windows95. In
conjunction with the enormity of Windows95 itself, this monstrous program
grinds all functionality to a halt, eventually disconnecting without
prior notice. This behavior is especially prevalent when empty toilet
paper rolls pile up too high around the machine. (No one knows where the
TP rolls come from.)
Beyond that, good luck in your endeavor.
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 00:41 EST
From: Factoid2
JWismar: All the space on my semi is taken up by the aforementioned
Endymion 9000, which is, at this very moment, continuing to sputter
and smoke from the decoding task I have set for us. It and I continue in
our semi-utter amazement at all this --- ahem --- drollery. I can think
of few times when I've laughed so much as when reading these postings.
I may have to re-think my hypotheses. (If the data doesn't fit the
hypothesis, change the data.) Happy New Year to all of you, and thanks
for all ----t h i s. I remain your humble servant.......But when the
decoding is done, I may not be so humble. Until the latent pomposity and
arrogance emerge.......
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 12:34 EST
From: LadyGale
<< and thanks for all ----t h i s. I remain your humble
servant....... >>
has anyone noticed what you get if you take the letters for ----- t h i
s ----- and rearrange them?
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 14:01 EST
From: JWismar
Lady Gale: >>has anyone noticed what you get if you take the letters
for ----- t h i s ----- and rearrange them?<<
'Sith" -n (ca. 1996 from the English, sith. See sith.) The noise made
by a fruitcake when slid from its wrapper.
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 14:18 EST
From: Rogerbrand
Hith...the sound of a snake with a lisp...o.k. it was the best I could
do on such short notice.
Rog
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 15:07 EST
From: Copterwife
If I don't tell you, will you spell it out for me??
Subject: Laptop Dancing
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 16:27 EST
From: LWHoll
What did you get for Christmas, Steph? Why, a TANGENT?
Jeez, I don't know one person in real life who will let me mention her
name without groaning and throwing something. Really, this folder has
nothing to do with the way I'm feeling any more. C'mon, you guys can
do better than nhis. I need a hug, big group hug.
Whose hand is that? Oh, OK.
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 16:28 EST
From: HSTompkins
Tish, a distant, albeit annoying, relative of Tash.
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 17:46 EST
From: CLYaillen
Isth. Prefix of Isthmus. As in 'isthmus' be the wrong folder. Thorry.
Thelda.
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 19:33 EST
From: RUSSTUR
Hist.
As in History, the sum of which Newbies never are aware enough to
realize the fallout from such a silly post.
Possibly Histerectomy(sp), which may be applied as punishment/reward
for giving us fuel to fire.
Possibly Histerical, which is what Lundy might become when he finds me
posting after I promised not to.
I have to go now.
Bat*hit
Subject: Re:BatGram(tm)
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 19:46 EST
From: MEBITE
TO: Batavian IV, 1st Cave, 3rd Belfry on right
TEXT: Your Omniscent Holy Batness...Stop...Received Package This
AM...Stop...Have
Undertaken Massive Vodka Infusion...Stop...And Gigabyte SCRAM
Download...
Stop...Prognosis Uncertain At This Time...Stop...Norweighan
Blue
Weasels...Stop
...Notorious For Being Hard To Revive...Stop...Funds
Dispatched
This Day...Stop
...To Your Multiple Accounts...Stop...Last National
BatBank(tm)
Zurich...Stop...
Last Attempt To Enter All Night Inn...Stop...Unsuccessful Due
To
House Rule...Stop
Of Checking Arms At Door...Stop...Weasels W/O Arms No
Fun...Stop/Message Ends
From: Lord Bite
One Less Weasel To Cross
Subject: Re:BatGram(tm)
Date: Tue, Dec 31, 1996 20:15 EST
From: RUSSTUR
My Dear Lord Bite,
Surely We(TM) thank thee for thy pains and thy most generous offerings.
Thou art most welcome in The Lands of Batavia(TM).
We ask but one thing.
Stay away from Batchick(TM). She's mine.
His Holy Batness, Batavian IV, V, VI, IX, IX I/II, X
Subject: Re: The Cray 97 super laptop
Date: Thu, Jan 2, 1997 18:15 EST
From: HO1156
Rearranged, the letters spell: H-I-T-S
As in ABBA's Greatest HITS. Playing in my eight-track, even as I sit
Here and type by candlelight.
Subject: Taking you off autodial.
Date: Fri, Jan 3, 1997 12:51 EST
From: LWHoll
How bout THEM apples, huh Steph! Ulah has said she'd marry me.
Ppfffbbtt! *. Pft! Of course, I guess RUSS is first, but who can
blame her? He's everything she could want in an ex-husband. So now
I just have to support her in the manner to which she has become accustomed- let's
see, what does a goddess need? Theater tickets, A-list appointee, mid-week
vacations on the coast, a library, and lots of paintings. And a slave
an ugly one, I'm no fool). Why Steph, I gave these all to you! Please
return them to me, and have the slave bring them over. (How about
that Tom guy- I've seen him and you can do better. Hell, you HAD better.
Pfffbbtt!)
Now, to fix up the old Holl place.
Subject: Re:Taking you off autodial.
Date: Sat, Jan 4, 1997 01:25 EST
From: RUSSTUR
Say Larry, I'm not sure Batgirl(tm) has expressed to you her dietary
requirements. I don't think you'll find them served (legally) at the
theatre, or anywhere on the coast for that matter.
As to the ''A'' list, I'll remind you that she is strictly, and
happily, a B-Girl(tm).
I'm OK with open marriages though, so if you guys wanna fool around,
that's fine, but if I find any cigarette butts anywhere in the Batcave(tm),
I'm gonna have The Boy Butthead(tm) tie you up and deliver you to
DebSweaty's house.
It's not often that you'll find a guy that wouldn't get upset finding
another man's car parked in his Batcave(tm) garage.
Batliberal
Subject: Re:Taking you off autodial.
Date: Sat, Jan 4, 1997 12:17 EST
From: LWHoll
>>As to the ''A'' list, I'll remind you that she is strictly, and
happily, a B-Girl(tm).<<
Good one, RUSS!
It'll be fun raising your kids.
Subject: kids/lwholl.
Date: Sat, Jan 4, 1997 12:51 EST
From: RUSSTUR
Yeah, right.
I may be a freak and all, but if you think I'm gonna let YOU near my
kids, you better check that jane you're smokin.
Batgirl isn't much into cabs, shoe boy, so unless you plan to get
something faster than a Batmobile(TM), or that zippy little F1 I built
for her, you better plan on some lonely nights at the Holl house. If
you play your cards right, I might be able to talk the NEA chief into
dropping off some TL videos, and you can see what things you can put
into that yoghurt maker.
Jeeez. I am REALLY in a bad mood.
Bathoneypie? I hate to ask, but would you hit my pressure points? I
think someone slipped something in my lutkefisk.
I think there must have actually been lutkefisk in it. Didn't Alfred
follow Lundy's directions and serve only the board?
Better get the Batpepto(TM), I think it's gonna be returned to the
Batkitchen(TM).
Batirritable
Subject: Re:How soon they forget....
Date: Mon, Jan 13, 1997 23:49 EST
From: LordBite
Umm, Larry? Hello? Stephanie? Anybody home? Just thought I'd drop by &
chat awhile so Bill doesn't drop this one for inactivity.....This is
the Buzz Chat Room, isn't it?
Dazed & Confused in AoHell
Subject: Re:How soon they forget....
Date: Tue, Jan 14, 1997 13:37 EST
From: LWHoll
Buddy, if you can find Steph you are doing better than I am.
Subject: Re:How soon they forget....
Date: Tue, Jan 14, 1997 16:21 EST
From: LWHoll
Yeah, what would Stephi being doing in a folder anyway? She wouldn't
even get in the trunk of my car and it was her idea. OK, sure. She
meant the body, but can you imagine what would have happened if we got
pulled over with a body in the trunk? We just tied it to the hood and
drove to Jersey.
The only person who said anything was the guy in the toll booth.
Subject: Re:How soon they forget....
Date: Tue, Jan 14, 1997 16:22 EST
From: LWHoll
Dr. DeMille, I'm ready for my meds.
Subject: Re:How soon they forget - 2
Date: Tue, Jan 14, 1997 20:09 EST
From: LordBite
So Larry,
What did the guy in the toll booth say?
LB
Subject: Re:How soon they forget - 2
Date: Tue, Jan 14, 1997 22:47 EST
From: LWHoll
He started squawking, but I told him the rest of it was tied to another
trunk a few cars back. Jeez, it was Jersey, like it had never happened
before.
Subject: Re:Jersey Turnpike
Date: Wed, Jan 15, 1997 16:08 EST
From: LordBite
LW,
Driving from DC to NYC tomorrow. Will give tool booth guy round
thingies and your regards.
LB
Exit 16B, Lincoln Tunnel
Subject: Re:steph/what!
Date: Thu, Jan 16, 1997 05:05 EST
From: JDHilliard
Have you guys ever had an honest to God Stephanie respond to this
conversation?
Signed,
You won't believe this, but it's Stephanie
Subject: Re:steph/what!
Date: Thu, Jan 16, 1997 11:33 EST
From: LWHoll
No self-respecting Stephani, no. But loose women have the edge around
here so stick around.
Subject: Foxy Lady
Date: Thu, Jan 16, 1997 20:44 EST
From: NOSPOL
I wanna take you home. I won't do you no harm. You gotta be all mine
all mine Foxy Lady. Here I come. I'm comin to Getcha!
-Jimi Hendrix
Subject: Re:Foxy Lady/NOSPOL
Date: Thu, Jan 16, 1997 22:34 EST
From: LWHoll
If you could do the same thing with the Illiad, you would be taken more
seriously.
Subject: Re:Foxy Lady/NOSPOL
Date: Fri, Jan 17, 1997 00:00 EST
From: JxxxxxK
Bring on the Trojans!
Subject: Re:New Jersey Trojans
Date: Fri, Jan 17, 1997 01:30 EST
From: LordBite
Uhm, Larry?
Back from rotten apple. Guy at tollbooth says you stiffed him for
$2. Man, is he pissed! You dripped goo or something all over booth, doors
don't work, and the poor guy's been living in there since July!
Have to go back Sunday 1/19. Any messages or last requests?
Your Biteness
Walt Whitman Rest Stop
Subject: Re:New Jersey Trojans
Date: Fri, Jan 17, 1997 11:01 EST
From: LWHoll
He lied! I've never stiffed anybody for two dollars!
Subject: Re:Toll Booth Terror
Date: Fri, Jan 17, 1997 15:36 EST
From: LordBite
Larry,
I see. I'll take care of the matter for you. I'll give him a Mk1
M80 fruitcake as I pass thru, that should clear his memory.....
LB
nearing exit 1.....
Subject: Re:Foxy Lady
Date: Sat, Jan 18, 1997 12:31 EST
From: ZTracker00
Subj: Foxy Lady
Date: 97-01-16 20:44:51 EST
From: NOSPOL
<<I wanna take you home. I won't do you no harm. You gotta be all mine
all mine Foxy Lady. Here I come. I'm comin to Getcha!
-Jimi Hendrix>>
I'll take "what is listening to dinosaur rock while your typing a
post... having nothing to say", Alex.
Subject: Re:Foxy Lady/Ztracks
Date: Sat, Jan 18, 1997 15:43 EST
From: HSTompkins
Oh, yeah, whip it good.
Right. Dinosaurs.
And what kind of music do you djay??
Subject: Re:Foxy Lady/Ztracks
Date: Sat, Jan 18, 1997 16:07 EST
From: CLYaillen
Dino Saur sang "See the USA in your Chevrolet".
Subject: Toll Booth Terrorist
Date: Mon, Jan 20, 1997 02:40 EST
From: LordBite
AP News Wire 01/20/97
A Toll Booth at the Southern end of the New Jersey Turnpike was
Leveled early today by a mysterious explosion that is leaving Highway
Patrol and BATFC officials baffled.
The Operator of the booth, a Mr. Hagley Slump of nearby Omimous,
NJ, was blown nearly 3 miles into the nearby Delaware River, where he was
rescued by a gang of local street ducks. He is currently in custody, due
to a large sum of money missing from his booth.
A new BMW belonging to a Dr. Doofus, local therapist and gadabout,
was severly damaged in the blast.
Authorities are perplexed by the presence of a mysterious cake-like
substance splattered all over the crime scene and a number of small round
shiny thingies amidst the debris.
Witnesses to the blast have reported a large black van speeding
away from the scene. One witness stated the van was being driven by a
weasel-like creature, but he'd been drinking all day.
Subject: Re:Toll Booth Terrorist
Date: Mon, Jan 20, 1997 08:38 EST
From: RUSSTUR
How could they tell the Weazel had been drinking all day? Was he
weaving on the rodent?
Wait... let me tryagain.
Did they administer a rodentside sobriety test?
I'm sure he would have failed the Pop -quiz.
Oh Crap. It IS late.
Cuz? Would you fix this mess, please? I have really made a mistake
trying to catch this weazel joke while asleep.
I'm like a weazel in the henhouse this morning, stirring up trouble
with these crummy yolks.
BatWAYsleepy
Subject: Re:Toll Booth Terrorist/Batboy
Date: Mon, Jan 20, 1997 22:10 EST
From: Ulah
Come stir up some trouble in my henhouse, sleepy head.
I'll help you get the yolk.
Batleer
Subject: Re:Toll Booth Terrorist/Batboy
Date: Mon, Jan 20, 1997 22:20 EST
From: RUSSTUR
Sigh. You are eggsactly what i needed. I was beginning to look like a
shell of my former self.
Subject: Re:Yolks?
Date: Tue, Jan 21, 1997 16:24 EST
From: MOkelly
Sir Russtur;
Your yolks are just fine, they are well rounded, and they have their
points, and yes it is very 'white' of me to say so, (no rascism intended).
Gilian said the weren't all they were cracked up to be, but you know
how scrambled she is.
Well, I don't want to egg you on, so to bed, my eyeballs are fried.
Your fan - Mo
Subject: the doc is angry
Date: Wed, Jan 22, 1997 03:33 EST
From: Sjwolden
Do not be so judgemental and condescending, when you get kicked out of
your favorite folder because it is full (Hey, anybody hear those
unmarked, flat black helicopters flying overhead?, I do and have been
hearing them all day), well then where do you go? The parking valet
sent me here because nobody really knows about this folder and I would
have more space to develop a series of deeply felt discussions in power
tool appreciation. Now I just hope the guys back at the trailer will
have the sense to gather up the beer and pizza and get over here.
the Doc will be a partying.
Subject: Re:the doc is angry
Date: Thu, Jan 23, 1997 01:25 EST
From: MSKYBEL
Steph would show you a thing or two about power tools but you are not
her type.
Subject: Re:the doc is angry/oo2
Date: Sat, Jan 25, 1997 02:56 EST
From: Dashrip862
Respect that thought, no fighting here all right? did you turn me into
Buzzsaw?
Subject: GUILTY
Date: Sat, Jan 25, 1997 15:18 EST
From: Judilee111
You moron, WE ALL TURNED YOU IN. Get the message yet?
The end